Episode 8 - Our First Consultation with a Russian IVF Clinic + Finding Our Donor

Hello and welcome to 'My Donor Egg IVF Journey – Raw + In Real Time'.   

I am Claudine, your podcast host. I want to share my Donor Egg IVF journey via my podcast in the hope that my experience will help others.  This is our safe holding space. If you haven’t already listened to Episode 1, my introduction, please do so.   

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In this episode, episode 8 of my podcast, I share with you our first consultation with a Russian IVF clinic and our experience in choosing our preferred donor. 

Thank you for stopping by. Please follow me if you are on a similar journey or are interested in the Donor Egg experience. 

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Thank you for sharing your time with me. From my heart to yours, sending healing energy to all of my listeners. 🤍  
     
Claudine Xx 

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I am not a medical or mental health professional. All content in this podcast (and any material I have created relating to this podcast) is created for informational purposes only. I am only sharing my personal l journey. The information that I share is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical and/or mental health advice and should not be relied on as health or personal advice.  

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Transcript

0:03

Welcome to my Donut Egg IVF journey, raw and in real time. I'm Claudine, your podcast host. I want to share my Donut Egg IVF journey via my podcast, in the hope that my experience will help you and others. This is your safe holding space, created with a heart centered approach. A place to land to share all things related to Donut Egg conception. I want you to feel safe, supported and informed during our shared journey. Now let's start today's episode. If you haven't already listened to episode one of my podcast, please do. You can listen to my episodes in the order that they're released. So that's my journey in chronological order. Or alternatively, you can choose the episodes that appeal to you the most via their titles. The initial episodes of this podcast will get you up to speed. And from thereafter, I'll update you in real time. Please pay attention to the disclaimer at the end of the show notes of this episode. By continuing to listen to this podcast, you understand and agree to that disclaimer in its entirety. Today's date is Sunday, the 9th of February, 2025. Now in today's episode, episode eight of my podcast, I'll share with you my first consultation with a Russian IVF clinic and our experience in choosing our preferred donor. Back in Episode 5, I discussed that on the 10th of October 2024, I contacted some donor egg clinics and requested access to their databases. Today I'll start on what transpired from the 11th of October 2024. So early that morning I received a response email from one of those clinics, that's Olga Fertility Clinic. They're based in St. Petersburg in Russia, so from here in I'll refer to that clinic as Olga. So that email was from one of their patient coordinators. The email was written in a warm and friendly tone, and the signature contained a photo of the patient coordinator. So I think it's always nice when you can, you know, um, put a face behind the name. So, essentially, the email briefly contained their service offering and highlighted that they do not sell eggs to send to other clinics and that I'd have to attend their clinic to undergo donor egg IVF. She suggested that, That we have a zoom meeting to enable her to explain the treatment process in detail, uh, to discuss their egg donors, um, to show me how to use their database and to provide login details. So we scheduled that meeting. Now there's a significant time difference between Sydney and Russia. For instance, when it's 7. 00 PM in Sydney, it's 11. 00 AM in St. Petersburg. So despite that, uh, Setting meetings with Olga has been smooth sailing from therein. So I had that Zoom meeting with my patient coordinator on the 2024 at 7pm. That meeting ran for about 15 minutes. She started that meeting by asking whether I had undergone IVF. I then provided her a brief outline of what led us to seeking donor egg IVF. She then offered me what she referred to as an introductory package. Now that package included several free zoom consultations and the purpose of that package was to enable us to understand whether treatment with them was an option for us. So she said that the first consultation would be with one of their leading doctors. She requested information from me to enable them to better prepare for it. And then she went through what she would need and all of which she later, um, listed in a email to me, you know, post meeting. So in terms of that donor database, she explained that they have the one database for their St. Petersburg clinic and their other clinic, which is located in Cyprus. And she said that she'd give me access to that database, uh, so that I could review their donors. I was also offered a meeting with one of their psychologists, as well as a meeting with one of their former patients. Now, I said that I might do that at a later stage, and I did that for various reasons. And she said she'd send me a link to their website in regards to pricing. Now, I asked whether she could provide me with access to photos of donors. Um, that's donors as children, as well as the donors as adults. And she said that she'd adjust the settings of my access to allow that. So at the end of the meeting, I said to her, you know, not to rush you, but when will you send me the login, I'm excited to look at the database. And she said, she'd do that in about half an hour post meeting. So I was really excited. I just couldn't wait to get the login details to their donor database and it was the first time that I was, you know, feeling some excitement about that, our donor journey, donor egg journey. Sorry, donor IVF journey. Um, yeah, I was just excited that, you know, and I guess hopeful that we might actually find what we were looking for. Now our meeting concluded at that. Um, I can say my patient coordinator made me feel at ease during that consultation. Um, I've actually had numerous interactions with her, you know, from thereafter and today, and she really is a lovely person and just an absolute pleasure to deal with. So following that meeting, the 30 or so minutes seemed like forever and you know, such a short time, but 30 minutes can seem like forever when you're eagerly and impatiently waiting for something like I was. And during that time, I just thought, I just kept on going back to my emails, like I checked my emails countless times. Now, I received that email about 30, oh, sorry, not about, I did check, 37 minutes to be exact, 37 minutes after that meeting. Um, now in a later episode I'll discuss the other information that that email contained. So immediately after receiving that email containing, the login details to the donor database, I logged straight into the database. And at that stage, there were 110 donors listed on that database. And, um, what I noticed, from thereafter is that the number of donors, of course, naturally can change from day to day. What I can say is that Olga's donor database is quite comprehensive, um, compared to other donor databases that I've since reviewed, you know, that I've reviewed to date. So I prepared a list for you outlining what Olga's donor profiles generally contain. So I'll read out my list to you. So the profiles contain photos of the donor as a child and an adult, uh, whether they are contactable or non contactable that's in terms of their identities. And we'll go through the whole subject surrounding that later in a later episode, uh, the year of birth, height, weight, religion, race, city of residence, eye color, hair color, hair type, for instance, straight or curly, et cetera. Hair density, hair colour during their childhood, whether they have grey hair. Body frame, skin complexion, whether they have freckles. Specific questions and answers are in regards to their personality, their medical and genetic information, and um, as for their medical and genetic information, that section is quite comprehensive. Details about their existing children, if any. Um, in terms of parents and grandparents, so their nationalities, their heights, weights, uh, years of birth, um, eye color, hair color, and occupation. There's also, there are also questions and answers about their social information and abilities, uh, as well as their temper and preferences. There are questions and answers in regards to their intelligence, skills and capabilities. Now at the end of those profiles, They also include a description of the donor's personal motivation to become a donor, and they provide that in two forms, so both a handwritten letter by the donor, as well as a typed version, um, of that letter, but a typed version translated into English. That evening my partner and I scrolled past several donors and then one donor immediately caught my eye. So she just looks so similar to me when I was younger and um, yeah so we opened her profile and the first thing that we did was look at all of those photos. I kept on commenting to my partner that she looks so similar to I did in my profile. Back in my teens and twenties, and he agreed. Um, we then read through her profile and we, liked some things that we read. However, I noticed that there were some differences between her and I. I discussed that with my partner and then he said that he felt that these types of factors could probably be influenced by the child's environment. So for instance, how the child's raised, et cetera. And he said, um, that sort of stuff is in the control of the parents. And, um, look, I did agree with him and I said that was probably correct for the most part, but I personally believe that genetics also, you know, influence that even slightly, and I did say it was something that we should perhaps, you know, read more about at a later stage. So I really felt a sense of familiarity with that donor, um, yeah, of course, I felt that because we read her profile, but I also felt that due to the fact that she looked like me in my younger years. And if you think about it, studies have shown that we are attracted to what's familiar to us, including faces. I liked that also because using her as a donor would perhaps thereby help me feel more connected to our child. Um, I also felt that perhaps it would increase the likelihood that others would believe that our donor child is in fact, um, my biological child. We just knew that she was the one. So nevertheless, we scrolled through, you know, the rest of the database, but our decision had already been made. I told my partner, I can't believe how lucky we are. I said, only five days ago, we found out that we might have to, we might need to have, you know, donor egg IVF and we've already found out donor. Then I said to him, do you know how long others have had to look for theirs? Definitely not this fast. And, um, the reason why I said that is because by that stage, you know, via those Facebook groups that, I've been searching through and reading through, um, I had been made aware that some people have taken weeks, um, some months. And I remember even one lady, a couple of years, just to come to groups with, having to consider donor egg IVF. So that was the first time in that five days preceding that, that I was just, you know, super hopeful and. super excited and I went to bed, quite happy that night. Um, and then from thereafter until about a week ago from today, so. thereafter until about late January, 2025. Um, yeah, we believe that she'd be our donor. Now, unfortunately that has since changed. So the circumstances surrounding that I'll share with you in a later episode, just due to the fact that I'm delivering, these episodes, in chronological order of my donor egg IVF journey. So, uh, that concludes today's episode. Please tune in to the next episode of this podcast where I will discuss the information contained in the email that I received from Olga following my first consultation. Thank you for sharing your time with me. From my heart to yours, sending healing energy to all of my listeners.