Episode 7 - The Importance of Shared Experiences

Hello and welcome to 'My Donor Egg IVF Journey – Raw + In Real Time'.   

I am Claudine, your podcast host. I want to share my Donor Egg IVF journey via my podcast in the hope that my experience will help others.  This is our safe holding space. If you haven’t already listened to Episode 1, my introduction, please do so.   

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In this episode, episode 7 of my podcast, I share with you the importance of shared experiences. 

Here is the link I referred to in today’s episode; 

https://www.audible.com.au/pd/All-I-Know-Audiobook/B00FO18ELC 

Thank you for stopping by. Please follow me if you are on a similar journey or are interested in the Donor Egg experience. 

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Thank you for sharing your time with me. From my heart to yours, sending healing energy to all of my listeners. 🤍  
     
Claudine Xx 

***** DISCLAIMER ***** 

I am not a medical or mental health professional. All content in this podcast (and any material I have created relating to this podcast) is created for informational purposes only. I am only sharing my personal l journey. The information that I share is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical and/or mental health advice and should not be relied on as health or personal advice.  

Always seek the guidance of your doctor or other qualified health professional with any questions you may have regarding your health or a medical condition. Never disregard the advice of a medical professional, or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on this podcast or read on any material I have created relating to this podcast.  

If you choose to rely on any information I have shared with you, you do so solely at your own risk.  

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Transcript

0:03

Welcome to my Donut Egg IVF journey, raw and in real time. I'm Claudine, your podcast host. I want to share my Donut Egg IVF journey via my podcast, in the hope that my experience will help you and others. This is your safe holding space, created with a heart centered approach. A place to land to share all things related to Donut Egg conception. I want you to feel safe, supported and informed during our shared journey. Now let's start today's episode. If you haven't already listened to episode one of my podcasts, please do my recommendation is that my episodes are listened to in the order that they're released. But of course, it's up to you to decide how you go about listening to my podcast in that regard. The initial episodes of this podcast, we'll get you up to speed. And from thereafter, I'll update you in real time. Please pay attention to the disclaimer at the end of the show notes of this episode. By continuing to listen to this podcast, you understand and agree to that. Disclaimer, in its entirety. So today's date is Wednesday, the 5th of February, 2025. I concluded my last episode, stating that in this episode, I'll discuss the importance of connections and shared experiences, you know, its benefits and how we can take little steps to shift normalizing donor egg IVF, uh, as well as my first consultation with a Russian IVF clinic and our experience choosing our preferred donor. So my apologies I've since decided to change that round a bit. So in today's episode, I'll discuss, everything I mentioned earlier in regards to shared experiences and I'll discuss the other topic in my next episode. Now, previously I discussed the first steps of our donor egg IVF journey. Um, and that, that involved reaching out to Facebook IVF groups. And donor egg communities. In addition to that, I also shared with you that I listened to Mary's donor egg journey, um, by way of audio book. Hence why I thought it would be a great idea to discuss the power of shared experiences. I prepared a little something for you. So I'll read that out to you. What are shared experiences? A shared experience is seeing hearing or doing the same thing as someone else or experiencing the same thing as someone else over different times. Also having the ability to bond over it. Shared experiences enhance each person's individual experience and thereby have a deep impact on human socialization. What are some benefits of shared experiences? Science has shown that having relationships and connections with other people improves our physical and mental health. Shared experiences can empower all parties involved in the process. So that's the person sharing their story as well as others who share a similar journey. Shared stories enable us to form connections. Understand one another. Uh, and understand aspects of our shed journey. As well as feel less isolated in our experience. So as for me personally, I felt an element of shame and isolation associated with his donor egg pathway. Now in pause therapy, I learned firsthand that sharing your experience, that sharing your story. Uh, helps in overcoming shame. So in regards to donor egg IVF, I think that part of my shame. Stemmed from the fact that donor egg IVF is a load, a road, less traveled. In our society. Um, I feel it really is a topic that's not often openly discussed by donors and, um, by donor egg recipients, you know, I feel that it could be better normalized in our world. Um, I feel as also an element of uncertainty as to how others will react upon finding out that, you know, we decided to conceive via donor egg. Now in terms of isolation. So I knew that others had pursued the donor egg pathway. Yet, when it was suggested to me, I felt like I was the only one going through it at the time. You know, like I've discussed before, so I didn't know what to do next. Uh, where to turn, how to find a reputable overseas clinic, you know, how to vet them and so forth. Um, I personally didn't know anyone else who pursued this pathway. So it was for all those reasons, I felt alone in my experience. Now. Reaching out in those Facebook groups, uh, creating and expressing myself why this podcast. Mary's audio book. Um, everything that. I've previously discussed in previous episodes. So all of that has helped me navigate the isolation and the shame. That I initially felt. So at this present stage, I no longer feel isolated, um, in that regard. So I do feel less ashamed about it, but. Yeah, I'm still working on that. So, yes, I'm sharing my journey via this podcast. Um, but I otherwise haven't really told many people that I'll undergo donor egg IVF. As donor egg recipients. Yes. It's our prerogative as to whether or not we disclose that to others. However, personally, I wish to reach a stage where I'm comfortable being completely open about it. Something else that I thought of is, you know, what's the opposite of shame. It's either pride or indifference. I know that my partner and I certainly weren't feeling different, you know, out about our child. Um, I already know that we will raise our child in a way that will lead us to be, you know, proud of their kindness, uh, the humanity, their character. Their achievements and much more. So I know that there are other donor egg recipients to be, or, you know, pastor and egg recipients. That have also felt ashamed and isolated at some stage of their journey. So that's why I decided to dedicate this episode to the subject of shared experiences. Now for those of you who have already found comfort in shared experiences in the context of donor egg IVF, I am glad that you've done that, that you found that, um, now as for others who haven't, I really do encourage you to consider it, you know, even by way of little taking little baby steps. So baby steps that might mean. Reading or listening to an audio book biography about someone else's donor egg IVF journey. It might be listening to this podcast or to other podcasts. So that's another baby step. Also another baby step could be joining related Facebook groups, Instagram pages, and so on. So you don't necessarily need to post or comment in the Facebook groups or Instagram account. Um, if you don't feel like doing so, so. Instead, you might consider at the very least, um, occasionally reading and reacting to one Facebook post, you know, and you might do a thought, ah, Hard a thumbs up, um, or whatever, um, in support of the person who posted. Now in Instagram, you might like the post. Um, you know, you might comment on the post, um, and in terms of audio books and podcasts, so. You have the opportunity to write them. You can write a review or you can contact the author or podcast directly and tell them your thoughts now. Of course, if you don't feel comfortable doing those things, then by all means it's certainly okay. You know, to observe from afar. So one of the reasons that I've suggested this is because another benefit of shared experiences is validation. When we share our experiences and connect with others who understand our struggles, We feel heard and validated. So when we show that empathy towards others, they feel the same. I think it's really beautiful that we have that opportunity to give and receive in that context. Like we have the opportunity to leave an imprint on other people's lives and other people have that opportunity to do the same. So another benefit of shared experiences is personal growth. When we share our stories with one another, we learn and we therefore grow. We might learn about ways that others have handled the situation. So perhaps how they've overcome challenges, um, also perhaps how they've better position themselves for success. Last, but not least another benefit of shared experiences is communities. So shared experiences enable us to build a community. Uh, shed experiences, help us connect with one another. Um, they help us become closer to one another. They also create that sense of belonging to others. You know, it might be belonging to a group, uh, perhaps to a special club. Um, Essentially within which everyone can understand support and relate to one another. In some circumstances, complete strangers can suddenly feel like friends or family. I want to share the following two quotes with you now. Aristotle, the legendary Greek philosopher. He quoted. Man is a social animal. So, this is true. It really is true. So humans are social creatures who want to build their social connections. So we thrive on social connections. Now the other quote, as quoted by the Dalai Lama is. We human beings are social beings. We come into this world as the result of others' actions. We survive here in dependence on others. Uh, whether we like it or not, there is hardly a moment in our lives when we do not benefit from other's activities. For this reason, it is hardly surprising that most of our happiness arises in the context of our relationship with others. So with that, I want to conclude today's episode by sharing another motivating factor that led me to discuss what I have today. So I personally believe that another benefit of shared stories is becoming a catalyst for change. I personally want to be a catalyst for change. So I want to normalize, um, I want to contribute to normalizing during the egg IVF. I wish to live in a world where donor egg IVF is accepted. Uh, and discussed in our world as a norm. So I hope that our child, that your children and other children can save via donor egg. Um, I hope that they feel comfortable sharing that part of themselves. You know, I want them to feel comfortable with their identity. And to, to never, ever feel that they should hide a part of themselves or that part of themselves. Um, I've I was thinking back to when IVF was discussed in the 1970s. So, I don't know if you've heard or read. So back then it was quite controversial, you know, it was criticized. Now, if you think about that, then think about how far we've come since then. So if you look at it this way, imagine if we all put in that 1% effort. And if, you know, if we all contributed our 1% support in normalizing donor egg IVF. So think about. What all of those 1% efforts combined would lead to. Small efforts combined would lead to massive change. So, you know, you just, just I'll leave you with a thought of what an impact that would make. That concludes today's episode. So please tune into the next episode of this podcast, where I will discuss my first consultation with the Russian IVF clinic and our experience in choosing our preferred donor. Thank you for sharing your time with me. From my heart to yours, sending healing energy to all of my listeners.